can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
