Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize