We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
