You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
