god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
