My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We talked him into tasing himself.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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