i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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