What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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