so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
