mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize