Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
