i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
