They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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