Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize