It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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