I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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