Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Oh god it's open bar.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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