Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
