? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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