I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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