I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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