i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
