how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
