I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
