I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
