Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
