I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
