I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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