Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
