Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so let's talk penis.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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