apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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