I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
