Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
