Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
