remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
