Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
