i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
