You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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