I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
