i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
