Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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