it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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