Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
