420 ftw
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
