I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
