True but thats because hes a fetus.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
