woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
