We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
