everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He felt like a one man threesome
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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