Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
