She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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