Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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