ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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