Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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