Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
